A letter to the jelly babies

Dear Jelly Babies,

I would like to thank you, sincerely, for the support and help you have given me so far in my marathon training. Your dedication to the cause has been impressive, and you have put up with treatment which, in any other context, would be referred to the International Court of Jelly Baby Rights. Hidden in dark corners of the cupboard, thrust into pockets, brutally dismembered in the cause - you have the right to be angry (although, in my defence, the dark cupboards were about protecting you from the children).

But yesterday, after about two hours of slow lolloping and a blood sugar plummet, I realised that I don't actually like you very much. We only got together because someone else said we should - it was never a true relationship. You're great - full of glucose and quick-release sugars. You're even fortified with Vitamin C! You look sweet, in all your little candy colours, and you fit so nicely into a pocket. You don't even ask to be unwrapped. You're perfect - except you're just not what I need. It's not you, it's me.

There's no one else, I promise. But I have to be honest with you - I am seeing other sweets. The Galaxy Counters were a disaster - tasted good but left both a tremendous thirst and potentially embarrassing stains in their wake. And the hard shell on a Minstrel just gets in the way of the chocolate. Maybe I should try a Wine Gum? But what would a Wine Gum have that you don't have? These are difficult and confusing times and I'm truly sorry that I've involved you - I can only say that my motives have been good. I did not set out to hurt you (except, obviously, by biting off your limbs at points of particular need).

It's not enough for everyone else to say we're right together - you with your fantastic energy stores, me with my demanding training schedule. No one else is going to run this marathon for me, and I have to find my own way of doing things. Maybe we will find each other again. But for now, it's a trip to the Pic 'n' Mix for me.

Good luck, Jelly Babies. And thank you.

Antonia xxx